Halloween Awesomeness Has Commenced..!

I must take a break from my sleeping/napping/resting and share the pictures that my sister-in-law sent me of my niece and nephew modeling their Halloween costumes.. how freakin' cute are they??

Awesome. Aren't they just the cutest kids ever? I'm in no way biased, by the way. I swear.

Party on, Wayne. Party on, Garth!

New title, look

Okay.. so my penchant for rearranging and redoing has spread here, to my blog.. New title that seems to fit it better, new brighter (happier) design and a few other changes. I like it much better, what about you all?

Wardrobe wondering..

Hmm.. as I'm arriving home early from work, (another day, I just couldn't hack it as miserable as I feel- which makes me feel even worse that I couldn't do it), I'm wondering: Am I weird and alone in color coordinating my pajamas? They always have to match or have a common color palate. Is that weird? It's not like I actively think about it, I just do it..

Anywho. That's my thought for the moment.. now to make some comfort food, and curl up in bed with some medicine, warm furballs and remote to my DVR..

Unplanned Mini B*tch Session..

I was right. It was a very long, long, LOOOOOONNNNGGG day. Socially, not TOO bad.. well, at least with people at work. But energy/health/physical-wise? Sucked.. sucked big time.

I need out of there. I need a new, challenging, comparable pay job. Where people are treated better, and it's nice and fun, not so rushed. Hmmm... I doubt such a thing really exists.

My God, the interstate is flippin' blaringly loud the last few nights. I can't hardly hear myself think, or hear my TV at a comfortable level. 


And while I'm on a mini complaint-athon, do people really not know that they are annoying? Whether the really loud, obnoxious chattering magpies that always seem to be in the break room when I want to relax and enjoy quiet time, or the customers that make the same old tired jokes, over and over again ('I don't think you can give me the help I need, but I AM looking for... (har de har har har)'.. or the people who keep bringing up the same innuendos repeatedly, day in and day out. Like, yeah, it stopped being funny and in any way interesting/relevant DAYS ago. You'd think after you stopped responding to them and changed topic, they'd pick up on the hint and drop it. Yeah... right. Unfortunately, not so much. For one tiny example: Like the $5 bucks joke charge to use the department phone.. or to throw something away.. yadada.. OLD and I ignore him EVERY time, but yet his little brain hasn't picked it up yet. Threadbare jokes/innuendos/conversations/etc are just such a turn off and instantly make my brain want to automatically avoid any further contact. Is anyone else like this?

And, don't get me wrong.. I KNOW I have my faults, and annoying features.. but we're not talking about me. We're talking about the abnormal people we have to share this environment with ;-)

Anyway, it's late. I'm tir-- scratch that-- I'm EXHAUSTED.. and still sick. So it's past time to curl up with my furballs and sleep, sleep, sleep!


**This entry sort of inspired by the awesome Miss Sara at Sara's Organized Chaos, you should go check out her blog. She's a pretty phenomenal writer, and on my list of blogs I read regularly :-)**

Effects were shortlived :-(

This is going to be a loooooooonnnggg day, I do think. I woke up feeling much better, energy-wise, and thinking, "Yes. I feel good. Sleep must've helped.

Sadly, no.

I've been up a half hour, and after only two trips up and down the stairs during taking care of the animals, I'm already beat. And that is after a two hour nap yesterday, resting for an hour before bed, and sleeping about eight hours. Work is going to suck. I could take another day off, since I already have a point against me from yesterday, but I can't do that regularly the rest of my life. I have to push forward, and only let the worst of the worst days get to me.

Speaking of work, I've gotta go back upstairs, take a shower and get ready to go.

..Or not. Since someone else just told me they had to take one first. I guess I'll be doing other small things before that..

Just another day..

I did something today that I haven't done in at least two or three years.. (if not longer). I called in sick to work. I haven't been feeling well anyway, and my lupus symptoms have been pretty prominent lately--especially the fatigue and sore joints. I had an appointment this morning, and by the time I was done with that, I was dragging, my feet feeling like they were cement blocks. I just couldn't see myself working a shift after that.. instead I came home and actually took a nap for a couple hours! I don't remember the last time I did that either, even though I've been craving doing it a lot.. might have to work that into my schedule more.

(In other news, I think I may have just stumbled across how to fix my formatting issue with my blog.. I guess I'll find out when I publish this entry, hm?)

I feel a little bit better tonight, a little less sniffly and congested, a little more energy.. but still much lower than even my normal. I'm hoping a good, decent night's sleep is ahead of me, so that tomorrow is more productive... and work is okay. I'm hoping a certain coworker of mine either calls in or opts to work in a different area, I just really don't feel like dealing with drama and attitudes tomorrow.

Speaking of tomorrow, it's going to be that in about five minutes, and I want sleep.. so off to curl up I go.

Making progress...!

Okay.. So about four-ish hours later(?), and I've finished for the night, on the closet overhaul. My last post had the before shots, here is what the in-progress looks like:

I've just gone through the two hanging shelves, and my cubby's. That leaves dresses, coats and the topmost shelves for hopefully tomorrow. Goodwill will like me, I hope! This is what they're getting tomorrow:

There's been one casualty found so far in my treasure hunting, I found my white corset ruined because my red one somehow bled onto it.. (fitting color for such actions, especially this month, huh?) I almost cried when I saw it, because it was one of my all time favorite pieces. I think it's ruined, but someone suggested bleach to try to get it out. I figured what could it hurt, since I can't wear it as it is anyway :-( Anyone else have any suggestions for possible repair? Wow. I just realized it's almost 2 a.m.. No wonder I feel dead on my feet and my eyes are protesting staying open- I'm usually laying down at the very least two to three hours ago!

New Project time!

In between coats of paint in the Master Bedroom closet, I have decided to tackle my closet. I have waaaaayyyy too many clothes, and a LOT of them need to go! (How many times have you ever heard a woman say that?) So, I am going to try on EVERY stitch of clothing in there, and if I am not completely in LOVE with how it looks, it is going bye-bye- first to Stuff, and if they don't take it, then to Goodwill. The befores:

Not to mention, I think I may have a few more plastic totes in my shoe/storage closet! Wish me luck!

Such a productive day, thus far!

Wow.. only 3:30, and I've gotten so much cleaning caught up, the living room carpet shampooed, the master bedroom closet half taped off (for painting in the near future), and stairs vacuumed! I even managed three episodes of Two and a Half Men (Charlie Sheen ones, thank you very much!), and an episode of How I Met Your Mother. Now, before I get any more things accomplished, I think I'm going to make the most out of the house being nice and quiet with only the furballs home with me. Nice, relaxing shower, here I come!

Hmm.. what can I get into today?

Oh, how I'd love to have been able to sleep in this morning! But, nope, the furballs didn't think that was acceptable. Gage actually started walking on me and meowing (that's a first, ever!) for his food, puppy started bouncing around on the bed to go outside. For once, Spaz was the only good, quiet one. That's weird. So, first full day off without Facebook. Let's go see what I can accomplish! I shall update you all on it, I'm sure you're on the edge of your seats in anticipation! :P

It's 5 a.m. .... why am I awake??

Gah! Something funky is going on with my sinuses lately.. isn't that one of the weirdest sensations in your head?? Got the weird feeling between my ears and mouth (ack! driving me INSANE!), sniffly and starting to get congested.. blah! Another one of the divine rug rats that go through the store regularly must've passed along something to me. Either that, or my co-worker's baby's constant sick stuff must've traveled to my work environment through her... I haven't seen anyone using sanitizing cleaning stuff on the counters and such lately, come to think of it... Anyone have good medicine referrals that they'd like to pass along? I think I may need something..

Cutting ties and starting anew..

What a very, very LONG day! It's funny the unusual things that happen through the course of the day that you don't expect when you wake up. But, first, Day One of Facebook hiatus is completed! Made it a whole 24 hours without it, and with the exception of automatically thinking, "Day one of Facebook free, how freeing and interesting this will be" in Facebook status form this morning while I was getting ready for work, I didn't have much of an urge to sign on. This could be easier than I thought! Which brings me to the the other somewhat (but not really) related events of the day. I traded my old phone number for a brand new one. After drama events found their way into my inbox, it pushed me to make the decision that I've been contemplating for while to change it. At first, I didn't think I'd be able to afford it right away, when I called customer service, they told me that it would cost $36 dollars to do! I was texting my friend Tab about it, and she said to hold on and she'd talk to her buddy who apparently works at the At&T store in the mall. When I got off, he told her to tell me to go into the store and he'd take care of it for me. Less than a half hour later, I was all set with a new number, for free! A half hour after that, and I was in the middle of helping her hold up the counter at her job, chatting away. :-) She's cool, I like her. And she's 'what you see, is what you get'. I need more friends like that! After I finally made it home, I whittled down the people who actually have the ability to reach me by phone down to a mere 14 for now.. and I think that that will be good. Others I see at work, and people also have my email address. I figured this would be the best time to cut ties with benefit-less relationships, creeps, stagnant friendships and people that tend to try to bring me down. And now, I figure it is time to curl up under my covers with my furballs and sleep, sleep, sleep! Did I mention it was a very, very long day?

T.G.I. (my) Friday!

One more day.. I can't decide if I like my last day of the work week being a busy Saturday or not..

Deactivation initiated!!

Bye, Bye comments, Bye Bye, long news feed, Hello, free time, I think I'ma gonna enjoy this! After a few weeks of planning, figuring out how to download all of my Facebook photos onto my computer, letting my close friends and family know, and un-linking every app I've added my FB account to, I finally pulled the plug on it at midnight. I stayed up much longer than my body was wanting, but my brain locked in on doing it at midnight, and tonight was the night in it's opinion. And with my OCD, it won out. As the hours progressed closer to "D-time", I was actually getting more and more excited.. and relieved. Does that seem silly to anyone else? Oh well. It's how it was/is. I'm interested to see if I will have much in the way of cravings or withdrawals.. and how long this hiatus may last. And how friends/family that either didn't get the mass message I sent out in time, or don't remember reading it, will react? Which reminds me of the strangest thing. I've not been much in the mood for texting lately either. Technology and nonstop interaction is past the "starting to get on my nerves" stage, so I haven't looked at my phone much this week. And you'd not believe how many people either assumed I was mad at them, or are mad AT me for not texting them! I am just baffled. Anyway. Instead of writing many statuses, and notes.. I think I will center that attention on this blog. Make notes either in my phone or on my kindle and compile them later for you all (and myself). But, for now, this will have to do.. for I am very sleepy and my bed is winning out on the luring me to it for the next eight hours! Good night :-)

Happy Monday, my lovely readers!

Auuuuuuggghhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!! I mean, good morning (or afternoon.. or evening--whenever you may be reading this)! I must get the mini-rant out of the way, so if you want to skip to fun, happy part of the entry, feel free :P I swear, living with family or even just other people can be trying. See, yesterday we had another (apparently unproductive) open house to try to find a buyer. So, the house was spic and span and sparkly...at least it was when I left. I came home this morning, (what? a girl like to spend time with her guy sometimes and get away!) to: ALL empty pet dishes messes on the floor my living room in slight disarray my bathroom still torn up from a repair job yesterday afternoon (although, I was kind of expecting this) dirty towels/rags on top of the dryer from aforementioned repair job (instead of in the washer where the others were ...and the carriers/totes they were sitting on still strewn across my parking stall in the garage from use yesterday. For a neat freak with OCD and just for someone that cleaned most of the house herself yesterday, it's slightly upsetting and VERY annoying. I haven't even looked at the kitchen or upstairs at all yet. I'm kind of afraid to! **end mini-rant** And onto happy stuff... Have any of you tried the 'Draw Something' app? Being an artist as a hobby, I was actually trying to avoid it and resist attempts to lure me in by friends. But, alas I gave in when Nick sent me a invite last week....and now I'm addicted. Iphone screens are sooooo tiny for it! I was using my Kindle, but the latest app update made it buggy enough to have an error message every time I open it :-( So, I'm back to the tiny screen and the batter that sucks dry so quickly! I'm starting to greatly look forward to Sundays. Nick and I have settled back into our routine of that's the main day we unofficially made ours to hang out. Typically spent window shopping, getting food and curling up in front of the TV. Either I'm getting old, or going out is just getting boring, because that's a perfectly fine way to relax in my opinion. BIG change from just a year or two ago when I was hitting two, three, sometimes four karaokes a week. Now, I can't even get motivated to go to the one regular one I've gone to for two years- my bed and books, and furballs entice me to stay home. Maybe I'll become a crazy cat lady, or I'm already on the way. But, I have a pup, so I'm safe from that.. right?

HUGE Pet Peeve of mine... *mini rant*

*Psssttttt* Would you like to know a quick way to get on my nerves-- wait, make that a quick way to piss me off and turn me off to any desire to converse with you for awhile? Or perhaps would you like to know what to avoid doing? That would be acting patronizing towards me or to someone else while I'm present. Especially when you may do it under the guise of being all caring and nice and 'it's for you that I'm doing whatever it is I'm doing'... Auggghhh!! I wonder... why do people act this way? And do you think they actually realize they are? Or do they really think they are being sweet and kind and in no way annoying and pissing other people off?

A quick observation

I think it's sad (disappointing..immature..telling...?) how people completely change their personality towards you, or just stop communication altogether, when they don't get what they want. Or when you don't want to help them fulfill whatever it is that they desire... As I write this, I guess it's not them changing, but their true colors that must be showing through the fake awesome exterior that they were trying to emulate. Sucks, but hey.. helps you see who is a true friend and who apparently think they are above everyone else, right? :-) While I'm mini-ranting, I might as well include a few more things lol: 1.) Why do some people attack other's for behaviors that they themselves do?? I don't get it. Everything from not picking up after their animals to cheating on their spouses, littering to not paying thier bills. I've heard a wide gamlet of these things, and it just doesn't make sense to me. Maybe they need to be reminded of the glass house/throwing stones proverb?2.) Why did an individual that knows I dislike them IMMENSELY send me a friend request earlier this week? I'm pretty sure the feeling is mutual... 3.) and last, but not least.. I am soooooo exhausted that I'm actually slightly dizzy. That doesn't seem like a good thing.. I think that means I'm way over due for meeting my bed.

Drama attempts and petty neighbors,, Blech!

I hate in-my-face confrontations from virtual strangers. Really? If you have a problem with me, be adult. Otherwise, take your drama else where. The cops have better things to do then settle petty neighborhood disputes :-( Okay, now that you're now wondering what on Earth I am talking about, I shall elaborate. This actually slowly started when the new family moved in next door, last year I believe it was. Her children run rampant through the neighborhood, her dog is loose more than not, and her house is looking more and more run down with toys and everything else left out in plain sight. Ever since she moved in, we've been quietly removing the toys from our yard and putting them back in hers. And asking them to keep their dog off our grass, as well as the children themselves. Tonight it came to a head. It's a property dispute, my neighbor officially trying to claim more land than is hers legally. (Starting with her children's skateboard being in my rock bed, accumulating when I calmly picked it up and put it back in her yard- resulting in her child running inside getting her, and her getting in my face and shouting at me.. and ending with her throwing my rocks from the rock bed while we waited for the cop to show..) But, I think I've already decided how I'm going to handle it. The cop said to get a surveyor out to measure the property and mark it. I have just had that done when I listed my house on the market last month, so I'm not going to argue over three measly feet wide of a strip. If she wants to pay the $500 to find out she's wrong, that's awesome. And we'll just stop mowing that stretch and whatever. Let her deal with the future neighbors over it. I've got bigger things to do than to argue over that tiny bit. And, oh yeah. I've been trying to stave off an anxiety attack since this went down, but I'm not doing so well keeping it at bay at the moment. :-/ I really feel like I need to take my anxiety medicine, but I don't know if that's a good idea since I took Aleeve not that long ago. Anyone have any idea about this sort of thing? I'd love your opinions about the property issue as well..

It's been awhile...

"...Since I first saw you And it's been awhile Since I could stand On my own two feet again And it's been awhile Since I could call you And all the things I can't remember..." Oh wait.. that's not where I was going with that. Silly song just popping into my head like that! I was actually going to say that it's been awhile since I've written. But, I think it's time to start. I've been possibly inspired to do so, by the latest book I'm reading. Actually a few books I've read lately, just by coincidence, have inspired me. It's strange, my passion for reading has been jump started for some unknown reason.. but I'm not complaining. And, now in this technological age, I have a magic box that hold hundreds of them! Well, other people would call them Kindles, but I like magic box better ;-) It's magic to me, because I will NEVER understand how those things, (or computers of any type) can work constantly and steadily! It's beyond my grasp.

Father's Day

First I'd like to wish a Happy Father's Day to all my friend's who are fathers. Hope you get some special time with your rugrats!I've thought a lot about it over the years, those closest to me know that I've struggled in my relationship with my father for most of my life. (He was absent from before I turned 2 to when I was 16. A few token gestures here and there since, but anyway..) So I've been thinking about it a lot more lately, since Father's Day brings it back to the forefront of my mind. There's a huge difference between being a father and being a dad. Anyone can be a father (i.e. sperm donor), but it takes a real man to be a dad. A dad is someone who teaches, protects, and helps raise the children whether through good or bad times. The man that I consider my dad raised me from 6-18, he taught me how to ride my first bike, he helped instill hard work ethic into me, taught me the difference between right and wrong and made my high school boyfriends teach me with dignity and respect. He passed away a few years ago, shocking and suddenly and I still miss him greatly. I never got the chance to tell him how much I appreciated him being there when I was growing up and for being the dad I deserved. When he left, I was still a teenager and like many teens hadn't realized how vital and important my dad was in my life. I hope I get the chance to tell him someday, although I haven't figured out yet what I believe about the afterlife. Happy Father's Day, Jeff. We miss you!

Marriage, singlehood, what pushes you one way or another?

Okay.. Been thinking about this off and on, and thought I'd get my friend's input, since I have many from many different paths in life. Why do people get married anymore? You can do everything married as single, or in a dating relationship- have kids, co-own a house, have multiple partners (interesting trend in media's spotlight the last couple of years,), live together, so on and so forth. So, if you're married-why did you choose to make the plunge? If you're single- do you want to? Or are you perfectly content not being legally linked to another person? (If you don't want to be public with it, feel free to inbox me. Your secrets are safe with me :-)

Service men/women's daily life compared to those of naysayers..

This actually pretty old, but one of my favorite things that I've ever seen online. (It applies to both genders, yes..) Soldier's Life You stay up for 16 hours He stays up for days on end. _________________________ You take a warm shower to help you wake up. He goes days or weeks without running water. _________________________ You complain of a "headache", and call in sick. He gets shot at as others are hit, and keeps moving forward. _________________________ You put on your anti war/don't support the troops shirt, and go meet up with your friends. He still fights for your right to wear that shirt. _________________________ You make sure your cell phone is in your pocket. He clutches the cross hanging on his chain next to his dog tags. _________________________ You talk trash about your "buddies" that aren't with you. He knows he may not see some of his buddies again. _________________________ You walk down the beach, staring at all the pretty girls. He patrols the streets, searching for insurgents and terrorists. _________________________ You complain about how hot it is. He wears his heavy gear, not daring to take off his helmet to wipe his brow. _________________________ You go out to lunch, and complain because the restaurant got your order wrong. He doesn't get to eat today. _________________________ Your maid makes your bed and washes your clothes. He wears the same things for weeks, but makes sure his weapons are clean. _________________________ You go to the mall and get your hair redone. He doesn't have time to brush his teeth today. _________________________ You're angry because your class ran 5 minutes over. He's told he will be held over an extra 2 months. _________________________ You call your girlfriend and set a date for tonight. He waits for the mail to see if there is a letter from home. _________________________ You hug and kiss your girlfriend, like you do everyday. He holds his letter close and smells his love's perfume. _________________________ You roll your eyes as a baby cries. He gets a letter with pictures of his new child, and wonders if they'll ever meet _________________________ You criticize your government, and say that war never solves anything. He sees the innocent tortured and killed by their own people and remembers why he is fighting. _________________________ You hear the jokes about the war, and make fun of men like him. He hears the gunfire, bombs and screams of the wounded. _________________________ You see only what the media wants you to see. He sees the broken bodies lying around him. _________________________ You are asked to go to the store by your parents. You don't. He does exactly what he is told. _________________________ You stay at home and watch TV. He takes whatever time he is given to call, write home, sleep, and eat. _________________________ You crawl into your soft bed, with down pillows, and get comfortable. He tries to sleep but gets woken by mortars and helicopters all night long. _________________________ You sit there and judge him, saying the world is probably a worse place because of men like him. If only there were more men like him

Reality imitating Art

It just occurred to me: friendships are a lot like TV shows. Cancelled too soon, you're left with 'What if's?' If they go on too long, they become stale and one is left with a taste of bitterness and maybe even some resentment. I realized that I am experiencing this right now in my life. Once almost inseparable, things have gone casual and slowly but steadily we've been drifting apart. Not the fault of either party-life goes on, big events occur, and priorities take you in separate directions. Blinders come off, people change, compatibility just isn't the same anymore. Rarely is the status difference publicly acknowledged, but exchanges become limited to saying hello and making small talk in passing. Occasionally, one side or the other will make the comment, with the best of intentions from both parties, 'Hey, it's been so long since we've done anything together! Let's get together for a movie night or bowling soon!' The other side will agree, but very rarely do plans materialize. I'm sure everyone has experienced this.. and as we progress in life, we'll see it more and more. As John Lennon said, 'Life is what happens when you're busy making other plans." I know that we're 'facebook-linked', we'll chat occasionally in text, and perhaps even see each other once or twice a year, and I'll appreciate those times. I won't expect any more than that, but I'll enjoy times to catch up. Yes, it does sadden me a bit, but I just remind myself that endings have to occur to make way for new beginnings. I raise my glass to the memories we made, the good times we had, the personal discoveries that I made with their help. I will always hold them close with a smile. **The use of the word 'their' and 'we' are to make it as genderless as possible, so 1.) that no assumptions are made as to who's on my mind and 2.) Because of the comparisons to the generalizations of when this happens in life**

Reality imitating Art

It just occurred to me: friendships are a lot like TV shows. Cancelled too soon, you're left with 'What if's?' If they go on too long, they become stale and one is left with a taste of bitterness and maybe even some resentment. I realized that I am experiencing this right now in my life. Once almost inseparable, things have gone casual and slowly but steadily we've been drifting apart. Not the fault of either party-life goes on, big events occur, and priorities take you in separate directions. Blinders come off, people change, compatibility just isn't the same anymore. Rarely is the status difference publicly acknowledged, but exchanges become limited to saying hello and making small talk in passing. Occasionally, one side or the other will make the comment, with the best of intentions from both parties, 'Hey, it's been so long since we've done anything together! Let's get together for a movie night or bowling soon!' The other side will agree, but very rarely do plans materialize. I'm sure everyone has experienced this.. and as we progress in life, we'll see it more and more. As John Lennon said, 'Life is what happens when you're busy making other plans." I know that we're 'facebook-linked', we'll chat occasionally in text, and perhaps even see each other once or twice a year, and I'll appreciate those times. I won't expect any more than that, but I'll enjoy times to catch up. Yes, it does sadden me a bit, but I just remind myself that endings have to occur to make way for new beginnings. I raise my glass to the memories we made, the good times we had, the personal discoveries that I made with their help. I will always hold them close with a smile. **The use of the word 'their' and 'we' are to make it as genderless as possible, so 1.) that no assumptions are made as to who's on my mind and 2.) Because of the comparisons to the generalizations of when this happens in life**

Back to work I go..

I had a marvelous four days off from work.. but now it's back to the grindstone. Yuck! Thankfully I only work four days before I have my next weekend!

Of course, with my earlier schedule for the day, I have a certain song in my head, which is mandatory for me to share with you, wonderful readers of mine!



(Thanks Youtube.. no official video? You suck lol)

Crashes from other rooms- NEVER a good sign!

Haha. Wowwww.. I was just sitting here, reading one of my favorite blogs-Sara's Organized Chaos, wishing I had something as fun and interesting to write about as possible stripper music and and truthful adverting from telemarketers.

I was just about to resort to blogging about my delicious cinnamon roll and chocolate soy milk breakfast when a HUGE crash came out from the upstairs bedroom followed by a tan blur racing out the doorway, around the dining room table and then UNDER the china hutch.(Which, of course, sent two blurs (cream and white) chasing after him.

I was wondering what the heck the guilty party (Gage) could have possibly gotten into in there and walked into this:





See that wire thing near the top of the shade? That WAS part of the shade.. whose previous job was to hold the glass pieces in. It's new job is apparently to shock me when I touch it. Partly to do with my electric personality. (No, seriously.. I have an insane amount of electricity in my body. I shock things (and people) continuously, and stop watch batteries inside of five minutes. I should try for the lead in a female adaption of 'Powder' or something.)

The guilty party:



Less than ten minutes later, he's wanting attention. Either extremely short attention span or delusional about the trouble he's in. Go figure! Oh well. I guess that's one less lamp that we have to dust, or replace light bulbs in! So really, he saved us money?

Happy New Year and good night..

I think I'm turning in for the night.. my phone's already blowing up with Happy New Year's texts, and that's all that's on my Facebook feed... My phone's off for now, so I can actually get to sleep without the screen lighting up periodically.

I wish my friends, family and readers all a Happy New Year.. and I hope you all make it home safe and sound tonight and no arrests! (lol)*knock on wood*

A Little Too Late-Toby Keith

This song just came across my Pandora station, and hit me just right. When I went to look it up on Youtube for the link, the video gave me a much needed giggle. So, dear reader, I hope you can enjoy one or both aspects of the song like I did....



Lyrics:

(chorus)
It’s a little too late
I’m a little too gone,
A little too tired of this hangin’ on
So I’m letting go while I’m still strong enough to
It’s got a little too sad
I’m a little too blue
It’s a little too bad
You were too good to be true
I’m big time over you baby
It’s a little too late

No I don’t want to want to talk about what we can do about us anymore
Only time you and me wastin’ is the time it takes to walk right out that door
Yeah talk about water under the bridge,
You should know by now girl that’s all this is

(chorus)
It’s a little too late,
I’m a little too gone,
A little too tired of just hangin’ on
I’m letting go while I’m still strong enough to
It’s got a little too sad,
I’m a little too blue
It’s a little too bad
You were too good to be true
I’m big time over you baby
It’s a little too late

There was a time,
this heart of mine,
would take you back every time
don’t you know
It’s been two packs of cigaretts
a sleepless night
a nervous wreck, a day ago.
Now you ain’t got no business coming around
I’m closing up shop
Shuttin’ us down

(chorus)
It’s a little too late,
I’m a little too gone,
A little too tired of just hangin’ on
I’m letting go while I’m still strong enough to
It’s got a little too sad,
I’m a little too blue
It’s a little too bad
You were too good to be true
I’m big time over you baby
It’s a little too late
I’m big time over you baby,
It’s a little too late

How are you planning on ringing in the New Year?

With a slightly defective car, my plans aren't very exciting. Actually, they're kind of absent- I plan on maybe watching a bit of TV, cleaning house, and going to bed like any other night.

I was wondering what's on everyone else's agenda? Is it like mine, quiet and at home? Drunken debauchery? Somewhere in the middle?

Inspiration for the New Year

My Facebook status from earlier: "is about to throw out what is wasteful and abandon unsuccessful situations, replacing them with something more solid and useful... Including both material and immaterial things. (Perfect time to be inspired for such a movement, with the new year tomorrow!)"

This year was something else, especially relationship-wise. Certain people that I was sure would move on, (and I was told by others that it was inevitable,) haven't. At the same time, people I thought I was close to and didn't foresee an ending or fading from have gone down other paths in life-ranging from moving cross country to having new babies to new relationships. Not really any one's fault, per se', but these changes tend to affect people and the way they can spend their time and attention. Which is totally understandable and I'm happy for my friends and the new opportunities coming their way, but also saddened by the fact of the distance and lacking closeness.

This year did bring about a few surprising developments in friendships, from closeness with people I've known for years casually to awesome friends that I've made just in the last year.

I think one of my New Year's resolutions is to let go of my hopes for remaining as close to some people as I've been in the past when my efforts aren't returned and instead, spend my energy building my friendships of those in my life's present day. Not to say that I'll cut them out of my life entirely-but that I should stop living in the past and look ahead to the future and where things are now.

Really, I guess it just comes down to that I'm done bending over backwards to keep certain people in my life. It comes down to one simple truth...either I matter to them or I don't. And the last six months have really helped to show me which category most of my friend's and acquaintances fall into.

I wish all of my friends, family, acquaintances and blog readers a Happy New Year, and that you can accomplish everything you want and have the best time of your life!

Six months, yes I know, I know

I had just about given up on getting back into this blog! For the life of me, I couldn't remember my password or email that I used. My computer just decided to have my signon ready for me today, when it hasn't any other day.. weird. I swear, electronics have minds of their own!

Anyway, six months but not much all has changed, I don't think. I'll have to sit down and update with what's going on now. Maybe more has changed than meets the eye? I guess you (and I!) will find out together..

Over-excitement with a touch of OCD?

Perhaps I was a little preemptive in my excitement of finally getting new flooring. Two weeks and counting for our family friend to even have enough time to come give us an estimate on how much flooring we need to buy, and how much it's going to cost to put it in. In my way over-excited anticipation, I've had most of the small things that would be in the way of such a project packed up for just as long.

Unfortunately, the mess that has resulted from this was really brought to my attention today and spurred a cleaning frenzy for me tonight.

See, usually I have most of the house dusted, cleaned, uncluttered and sparkly pretty almost everyday. Not so much earlier, when I spontaneously came home on my lunch break with a friend to hang out for a bit. He said it was fine, that he'd seen messier houses, but I personally hope he gives me a second chance to make a first impression! lol

Oh well, at least he liked the artwork I have up on my walls!

Now, if you excuse me dear reader, I've been cleaning for about two and a half hours now, and have lots more I want to do tonight before I get any sleepier!

Soft lips and blood thirsty tilllers

Well, it's been a day for sure!

I got into a fight with my lawn tiller. Long story, short- I prevented it from falling into my mother's head, but got it myself. I call it a draw though, because nothing was sliced open-I just got a nice inch wide by five inch bruise and swelling on my leg.

VERY long day.. even though I didn't work, I came home from staying over in Williamsburg with Nick at a friend's place, went to the library, went to the doctor (I can hear again, I can hear again! yay!), did things around the house, and have been trying to get sleepy enough to fall asleep for the last hour-ish.

And the highlight of my day might make some (okay, most if not all) of my readers question my sanity. Really, if you don't do that already, you may have issues yourself! Can you believe that the highlight was buying myself a new carmex? I swear, I must be addicted to the stuff or something, I know I have three or four different ones floating around, but haven't been able to find them for a few days, so I got another one. And guess what I found not two hours after I did that? Not one, but two lip balms. Figures, huh?

Ten things I want..

I must say, this is the first time that I've been inspired by Twitter for a blog entry!

Instead of 10 separate tweets to fulfill this tag, I just thought I'd do an umbrella blog!

In no particular order:

1.) Endless supply of margaritas
2.) A man that treats me right, who does what he can to fulfill my needs and desires-even if there's only irregular opportunities for it..
3.) A life-time pass to Burger King and their oh-so-delicious Whoppers and onion rings!
4.) For people to stop criticizing my weight, one moment I'm too skinny, the next I'm gaining too much! AUGH!
5.) A kiss that takes my breath away.
6.) Fewer health problems
7.) A job that doesn't feel like a job
8.) To be free of my OCD and anxieties
9.) My friends and family to be happy and healthy and achieve all that they want in life
10.) The ability to mute annoying chick-chatter and to knock some non-deserving men's egos down a few notches.

Too much crap!

Do you ever just look around and all of a sudden just think to yourself, 'Jeezus, I just have too much basic crap around my house! Dumpster, please!'

Or is that just me?

I weed out my stuff at least twice a year, and don't buy much in the way of 'extras' or dust-collectors but I keep feeling suffocated by my stuff.

I think I'm off to take an hour tossing and purging, maybe feel better? I shall update with the final toll of what dent I have made and to where it's final destination shall be..

30 Things you may or may not know about me..

1.)Music isn't just a hobby for me, it's the force of life

2.)I don't believe that we were supposed to have monogamous relationships

3.)If we do have soul mates, I truly believe I met him in the last few years, but he is already taken

4.)I've really been a life-long Michael Jackson fan, learning Thriller before I could even put together full sentences

5.)I've shown major signs of trichotillomania since the third grade

6.)I have severe anxiety, especially concerning leaving the house

7.)I have CNA training

8.)I think a BK Whopper meal is the perfect dinner (or lunch..or breakfast)

9.)Jason Michael Carroll's voice makes me melt

10.)Too much milk products makes me sick :-(

11.)I love, love, LOVE the water. I love showers, I love the rain, I love the beach.

12.)An ex-boyfriend used to refer to me as his 'water princess'.

13.)I'm a HUGE Jackass fan. I can't decide which dude I like best- Knoxville, Steve-O or Bam.

14.)I don't currently have a favorite color-I do like red, also purple, and green...

15.)I HATE the color blue!

16.)I've worked at the same Wal-mart for going on nine years

17.)I love my friends, adore who I date. There's one exception, but it's not meant to be.

18.)I'm working (slowly) on a book/novelette

19.)M*A*S*H is my all-time favorite TV show

20.)'Enter Sandman' makes me feel all warm inside

21.)Music is like breathing to me

22.)I have a nice electric guitar, but no clue how to play it as of yet :-(

23.)I've been best friends with Jenn for almnost twenty-one years, I've known Josh for just a little bit longer than that.

24.)I almost moved to Texas and got married at age twenty, thank god THAT didn't work out!

25.)Usually can't stand ego-stroking people, there's only the rare few that I will do it for.

26.)I miss playing the flute.

27.)I can't cook to save my life-and I can't even make jello!

28.)I love the little gestures people do waaayyy more than extravagant ones.

29.)I have to fall asleep on my side curled up with either my head on Nick's shoulder or with my hand under my pillow and head.

30.)I have been trying to gain weight since high school (graduated weighing 92 pounds-now at 122).

*and a bonus.. I'm a sucker for anything '80's. The music was awesome and I even love the fashion!*

Photo Challenge: Day Eighteen

A picture of your favorite book

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I've pretty much worn through my copy, I've read it countless times since I came across it years ago. LOVE IT!

Photo Challenge: Day Seventeen

A picture of something you wish you were better at

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Balancing...well, everything!

Photo Challenge: Day Sixteen

A picture of somewhere you'd love to travel

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My mom lived there for a few years in the early-mid seventies. Over thirty years later, and she still has a large streak of Southern embedded in her. I'd love to go visit where there's loads of history and culture, and see what it is all about as a place in our nation's history.

Photo Challenge: Day Fifteen

A picture of your biggest insecurity

Yes. Everything I see of myself falls into that category, just depends on the day what and how much of it I don't feel good about.

Photo Challenge: Day Fourteen

A picture of something that has made a huge impact on your life recently

Karaoke. Yes, I said karaoke..(or wrote for those literal folks out there.)

I'm slowly becoming less painfully shy, and am actually using it to work on singing my favorite songs better.

Not crazy, I promise! (Actually, I'd never promise any such thing!)

Photo Challenge: Day Thirteen

Day Thirteen: A picture of something you want to do before you're thirty.. Road trip with friends with no predetermined destination!

Photo Challenge: Day Twelve

A picture of your favorite band or artist;

This entry is late, because I couldn't decide on just ONE favorite band over all, let alone out of my favorite local bands! So, Metallica was it for mainstream, and here's one of my favorite local bands.. you should really check out Insanguine ;-)

Like Sheets in The Wind

I was just hit with a random thing that caught me totally off guard. (hence, random.)

I just started a book from my library pile, (which is on my 30/30 list, but that's another entry, another day.) This one is Animal Farm by George Orwell, and was on my (and probably everyone else's,) middle school reading list.

The first page was a summary of his life. One page. Nothing more, nothing less. And the thing that struck me is, how a life could be summarized in just a single sheet of paper, from birth to death. Someday that might be all that survives to tell of the person that lived, breathed and occupied a place on this planet for half a decade. How very sad.

And worse, what about the people who never warrant the opportunity for any kind of written history of their presence? All those stories, events, lessons learned.. scattered to the wind to be forgotten about? Although, how can you forget something that was never tangible?

The Pivotal Point Between 'Like' and 'Love'

Okay. I've been thinking about relationships, and love. The latter, as you may recall, I am not in a believing state of right now.

More specifically, I've been wondering about what makes a person go from 'liking' someone to 'loving' them? I know it's not a conscious decision or, dear lord, shouldn't be, but what mentally 'clicks' and makes the leap?

Like, my ex-fiance. Nope, never did love him. I think the whole, 'Dating a month, he gives me a promise ring..dating three months he tries giving me an engagement ring (which I managed to refuse for at least a year..), going psychotic and stalking me when I tried breaking it off, yeah that didn't lend well to the cause.

Or the guy I dated before that, which was the complete opposite for me. I had just started working at Wal-Mart. He was an unloader, who I kinda flirted with back and forth with for a little while. Then, I remember it pretty clearly, (scary how so, really,). I was looking at the schedule board after a break, and he came up to me and said, "You know, I've not done this before, but would you like to have dinner this weekend?"

Knowing him since, I totally call b.s. on this one (not doing it before), but I didn't know any better then! Anyway..

A couple months later, we were dating. We went to break together. After break, when we were going in two different directions to work, I wasn't thinking about anything consciously, when I said, "Love you, later!"

And we BOTH stopped in our tracks. Me, because apparently something went haywire in my brain and him, because well, that's obvious. He asked, "What did you just say?"

"Nothing. Nothing at all. I should go to work now.." I tried to just move on from that.. but he wouldn't let me for a few minutes.. evil, evil bastard had too much fun with it. Fast forward a bit of dating history, and..

Anyway, all's well that ends well, I suppose. We're friends now, and it's kind of scary he's evolved into a married family guy.. totally at odds with what I knew him as in the beginning!

Now, back from memory lane to the topic at hand. How does it work for you? Do you sit down and think about things? Do you just follow your heart and exclude your brain?

Are you like me, and don't let yourself believe in it? Or are you the total opposite, and fall right away?

I'm so very curious, and people fascinate me. I'd love your input, dear friends!

Photo Challenge: Day Eleven

A picture of something you love.. Dear readers, meet my adorable, little fluff ball Cloud!

Photo Challenge: Day Ten

Day Ten: A picture of something you hate

(Story will come sometime by the end of Wednesday, short on time right now :-) )

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April 28th, 2011
11:06 a.m.

My lovely readers, please forgive me for not meeting my own deadline on giving the story as to why I can't STAND this disgusting fruit. It actually would've been even later before you got the lowdown, but a lovely friend sent me a cute message on Facebook about it, so it here it goes:

It was the the late '80's, and I was probably five-ish. My mom worked at the U of I, so before school I went to a babysitter down the hall. Her name was Bernice and she wasn't really all that fun that I can remember. What I do remember is she would make me a bowl of cereal for breakfast, and would always chop up a LOT of bananas for it.

I either didn't have much penchant for them already, or I got banana overload, but this quickly fell into my 'no way, not happening' list. You know, or whatever little kids call it.

I don't know if many parents/caregivers do it anymore, but this was still the age of, "Eat everything on your plate, or you're not getting up from the table." Apparently I was a bit crafty and/or she was a bit slow in catching on, for after awhile, I started dumping my bowl of yucky cereal and mushy bananas into the cookie jar in the middle of the kitchen table while she was watching TV in the living room.

And to this day, I can't even stand the smell of the disgusting things. Bleeechhhhh!

Photo Challenge: Day Nine

A picture of the person you do the most ****** up things with



I do believe Jen could qualify for or be somehow related to many of the entries that will compose this challenge! <3 you lady!

Teardrops On My Guitar-Taylor Swift

"...She better hold him tight/Give him all her love/Look in those beautiful eyes/And know she's lucky 'cause

He's the reason for the teardrops on my guitar/The only thing that keeps me wishing on a wishing star/He's the song in the car I keep singing/Don't know why I do..."

Photo Challenge: Day Eight

A picture of the person who has gotten you through the most....



There's a small handful of people I could put, but hubby's been there for me for a great deal of things in just the year that we've known each other--and I love the pic lol

Photo Challenge: Day Seven

A picture of your most treasured item

I have a few, but this ranks high on the list. It's the only actual heirloom I have from my grandmother who passed away when I was ten.

Photo Challenge: Day Six

A picture of a person you'd love to trade places with for a day


Okay, so yet another entry where I have two answers. The first one is a real life person, a great friend of mine, Meredith. She's been so many places, making such a great place for herself in life and just is a totally awesome and wonderful person.



and the other is Dharma from 'Dharma and Greg'. I've known people like her, and I just would love to be able to live that carefree and stuff. And plus, she is tres' adorable!

Photo Challenge: Day Five

A picture of your favorite memory

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Hands down, one of my top favorite memories was when Josh and I FINALLY got to have a reunion last summer after far too long of not seeing each other!

Photo Challenge: Day Four

A picture of your favorite night

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ooohh... I would have to say last August when Jen and I celebrated our birthdays at Studio 13 and Jaclynn and hubby came as well :-)

Even the voices in my head think I'm crazy!

This was actual inner dialogue I caught myself having earlier today right after I got to work:

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"My OCD is making me crazy!"

"No, my OCD is WHY I'm crazy."

"Actually... talking to myself about my OCD and being crazy is what would classify myself as crazy."

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Isn't that just 'crazy'..? Does anyone else think in complete sentences, much like J.D. on Scrubs? Or is it just me?

Losing my grip...

So, yeah. I'm totally losing it. And not even in the fun way, where I get to see pink unicorns and blue elephants chasing a monkey across a rainbow. Although, that would be slightly interesting, and would score me a white coat and a enjoyable bouncy room.

No, no.. this is quite the boring and anticlimactic way. Like, where every dish has to be put 'just right' into the dishwasher. And I can't have piles of ANYTHING anywhere to deal with later. And I have to 'count' my way out of the house every morning, alphabeticalize everything with a title, color coordinate everything in my closet.. etc, etc.

Yes, it's the grand development of OCD. I think people believe I am joking when I say I have it, or think I am exaggerating about things I honestly believe I have to do. Like the walking through every room in the house, making sure everything is in it's place and there's nothing hot left on and nothing small left where it could possibly get into puppy's reach. I just realized that's actually my mantra as I do my walk through before I leave everyday~ "Nothing hot, nothing small...nothing hot, nothing small..."

Which got me thinking. Looking back, (hindsight is twenty-twenty, right?), I can see the progression. Just maybe five, six, maybe seven years ago, I remember just having to check to make sure the stovetop was off and that was that. I never was bothered by a (very) messy living quarters, piles of stuff everywhere, and so on. But, just tonight, I was eating a plate of spaghetti while I was watching Scrubs. And I managed to knock the plate onto the floor and dump my food. I think most people would just clean up the spaghetti and that would be done. No, I cleaned up the spaghetti, and then noticed I had accumulated stuff on my dresser. I straightened that up and then proceeded to clean the entire room until everything was in it's precise, designated position. And then, when I took my dishes to the kitchen, started cleaning the counters until I forced myself to say, 'No, it's one o'clock in the morning. This can wait until tomorrow.'

And, it's become a rapid progression as of late. Earlier this year, I had had enough of my anxiety attacks, and went to the doctor. She prescribed something for them and said it would also help with my OCD symptoms as well,

Boy, was she ever wrong. My anxiety behaviors grew ten times worse, my trichotillomania came back active full force, and my OCD has skyrocketed.

I did stop the medicine just about a month in. But it's not making anything go back to 'normal'. Which scares me.

If I've gotten this, 'precise' for lack of a better word by the time I'm in my mid-twenties... what could it possibly be like for me when I'm thirty? Heck with that, what about in a year?

Dear readers, do any of you deal with this? Do you have any decent suggestions for me? Do you think I'm losing it? Any constructive criticism you have, I'll gladly listen...

Now, I'm going to go to bed before I think of something else that I HAVE to check or clean.. hope you all are having a good morning/day/night... which ever applies as you are reading this.

Photo Challenge: Day Three

A picture of the cast from your favorite show...



I can't decide between two of my favorite shows for my ultimate favorite, so here's both!

Photo Challenge: Day Two

A picture of you and the person you have been closest with the longest..



That would be Jen. We've stayed friends, through thick and thin, since the 3rd grade. Above is one the oldest pics that I still have of us, below is the newest one. :-)

Photo Challenge: Day One

A picture of yourself with ten (lesser known) facts:



(I had the urge to use the oldest (non-school) pic I had :P

1.) I LOVE horror movies, but I can't bring myself to watch them alone!

2.) Riding on that fact, I first saw IT (by myself) when I was six or seven..now, even to this day, every time I walk by a storm drain I half expect to see balloons in it..

3.) I have a REALLY large personal bubble, and have come close to decking quite a few people at work for coming up behind me without any warning. (Though, how satisfying that would be to do that to some of them!)

4.) I adore who I date, and love my friends. (It may usually be the other way around for most people, but friends will typically be around a lot longer, so less heart breaking going on this way.)

5.) I can't cook worth a darn. Seriously. I even mess up Jello!

6.) I'd rather take a spontaneous Burger King/Bowling date over a fancy dinner and movie.

7.) If you think any of my behaviors could be called eccentric, annoying or just weird, perhaps they are linked to my OCD and anxiety attacks?

8.) I am a huge romantic.

9.) I work at the same place I did after high school. Eight and a half years later, I believe they have my soul.

10.) I am a music junkie. I can not get enough of it. Records, CDS, cassette, iTunes.. seriously. It's one of the only things that can be universally shared, understood and enjoyed by everyone.

30 day photo challenge

Okay, I just woke up this morning thinking that I'm totally going to do this.

I don't know why today of all days, I hadn't read about it or seen in being done for awhile. My brain just decided while I was passed out from exhaustion that I need to do it. And so, here I go.. (Each entry for it will be titled in such a way that you dear reader, will be able to tell 'regular' entries from them; Since I don't know if there's a way to automatically separate them.)

I'm also doing this on Facebook, like it's intended, but here I may extend on my answers or give more personal ones. I'm not for sure yet.

In any case, I hope you enjoy!

Exercise Regimes

Hey everyone.. I just wanted to ask around about what exercise routines everyone is engaged in, and what works for you.

I never had to 'actually' exercise before, I used to be able to eat and eat, and burn every single calorie off. Uh, yeah..not anymore. Truth be told, I've gained like 15 pounds in the last year, and even though most of you will be like,'You're tiny, you don't need to lose anything...." shut up! (In the nicest way possible, of course!)

My favorite jeans won't even get halfway on anymore, so there's where I draw the line!

There's no way I'm getting back into my bikini again, unless I lose this tummy... so what suggestions do you all have for me.. and be a LITTLE serious please :P (I love you guys, and your jokester ways.. but sometimes I need real input too ;-) )

Also, I can't do heavy weights, because of my back problems, so that sort of thing is out...

Thank you guys so much :-)

The lost has been found!

Woohoo!

After two days, my lost car keys have made their way back to my possession! Yay! *insert happy dance here*

I asked one of my friends, who is a CSM, if she could look in the front office to see if they were turned in yet. And a little while later, she came to my counter with them in her hand! The kicker? They were put in the 'regular' lost and found, instead of the office where keys and other 'personal' stuff goes. So they could have been there pretty much all along and our seperation could have been much shorter. Grrrr!

But, all's well that ends well, I suppose! They are mine again! And even better, I have Nick's key back again. He JUST gave it to me a couple weeks ago, and I was feeling horrible that I had lost it. This is the first time that I've actually lost them, usually I find myself *almost* losing them but realizing it before it actually happens.

So, yeah. *happy dancing still* Awesome! And now, I must lay down and try to crash so I can be at work in eight hours..

30/30 List

Okay, so I've been reading a lot on this 'new' idea of having a bucket list of sorts for things that you would like to accomplish before you turn thirty. And since my way of just drifting along in life doesn't seem to be accomplishing things well enough, I thought I'd give myself the task of creating and seeing what I can motivate myself to doing. So here is what I came up with:

1.) Learn Spanish

2.) Take and successfully complete the Administrative Assistant program from Stratford Career Institute

3.) Using that experience, getting out of Wally-World for once and all. Being there eight years, and it being the job I got right out of high school does seem like of sad-like.

4.) Attend three 'mainstream' concerts

5.) See the Titanic exhibit. (Which is currently here in Iowa this year, so this is the year!)

6.) Learn guitar

7.) Write (and complete) my book

8.) Go whitewater rafting

9.) Take a road trip with a couple of friends

10.) Attend my class reunion (2012)

11.) Lose my tummy and get nice abs and toned all around (and keep it that way)

12.)Read 50 books a year. (I'm not for sure the best way for keeping a record on this..)

13.) Read all the books on the 'banned' list

14.) Go skiing

15.) Complete my Stephen King collection

16.) Make all of my family photos digital

17.) Go camping at least three times a summer-in a tent for at least a full weekend.

18.) Learn how to waterski

19.) Fly on an airplane

20.) Visit another country. (Cananda and Mexico counts)

21.) Put pretty flooring in the lower level of my house (instead of this hard and ugly concrete~long story!)

22.) Write a biography.

23.) Make a complete family tree

24.) Learn French

25.) Visit the Grand Canyon

26.) Take a trip and visit both oceans (two separate trips, that is.)

27.) Pay off my student loans!!

28.) Figure out how to accept and like myself for who I am, and not worry about what other people think or judge.

29.) Learn how to salsa, tango and ballroom dance

30.) Go to Chicago and visit the museums yearly.

I'd lose my head if it wasn't attached, I swear!

okay. so I'm an idiot. Somehow, in the last three hours of work, I lost my car keys. Not only that, but my cell phone died right at the end of my shift. So I got to walk home and then get a ride back to my car to bring it home with my spare keys. Idiot, that's what I am.

Blogging: Acceptable tell-alls?

It occurred to me earlier today that blogging is really a modern and public way for anyone to instantly publish a tell-all book, the kind of publication that can cause quite the stir in Hollywood and other social circles.

My questions of you, dear readers, are these:

*even if you carefully change names to 'protect the innocent' or not so innocent, depending on the experiences, are there lines you should be careful not to cross?

*What if, for you, writing about the experiences is like a form of purging, a confession that you really need to get out of your system so you can gain closure and move on?

*Does it matter if what you need to get out in the open involves people that are no longer in your life? Does it matter what you write then?


I'd greatly appreciate any input you have to give, this involves personal things for me, things I need to expel and gain closure on.. I just want to find the 'right' or at least best way of doing so. And that's where I turn to you, dear reader. Any opinions and ideas you have would be awesome!

Close-mindedness is great material for laughing fits!

*laughing to myself*

I find it a riot the people's reactions when they hear about my dating arrangement. I'm talking about the reactions they have, that they don't even realize~before they become aware and mask them.

Another example was just today. *laughing again as I remember it*. I was at work, when my Aunt and her 'lovely' friend came up behind me. This is the same friend of hers that I cannot stand, she's very loud, opinionated (which would be fine if she had any sort of facts or anything to back them up), and just tries to bowl over you in conversation whenever you try to offer up your own ideas. This is also the same lady that has on a few occasions tried to get my mother fired by pretending she was stiffed in some way or wasn't helped fast enough. She's done the same thing to me once or twice as well..Not even cool, especially when we've known this lady forever.

Anyway. They came up behind me as I was working on resetting the costume jewelry. They were both in the motorized carts, (that I truly believe neither one needs.. they just like the special 'aide'.) We start chit-chatting how they don't like the new store arrangement, how my department has shrunk, yadayada.

Then the funny part. My aunt goes, "I really like your necklace!" To which, I went, "Oh yeah. you don't know about my dating thing yet, huh?'"

'No.... I haven't heard.' She replied.

"My boyfriend's wife gave me this. She actually gave me quite a few pieces of jewelry a couple days ago of stuff that she didn't want anymore."

*commence the few seconds of jaw dropping.*

(Internally I am just cracking up at this point. It's freakin' hilarious to me, that in this century people are still so set on the one on one 'traditional' man-woman one on one relationship/marriage.)

Then my Aunt's friend started to say all sorts of off the wall things, and assumptions to which I was going to start defending, but realized it would just be pointless, so I acted like I REALLY needed to get back to work right then.

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And, for the record, I just want to say.. it's just like any other dating relationship. He just has a wife is all. He's awesome to me, gives me all the attention I need, there's usually constant texting, hanging out, takes me out occasionally.. and if you look at the guys I've dated in the past, (one psychotic stalker ex-fiance', one drunkard with sticky fingers and other DEEP issues, and two boyfriends that went to other chicks and got them pregnant while we were supposedly dating 'exclusively', just to name a few;) then he's a real good catch. And it's been about nine months now.. so SOMETHING'S being done right!

(and yes, she knows he has girlfriends.. If I understand correctly, she's the one that gave him permission in the first place to date!)

I promise..

..I haven't forgotten about my dear reader(s)! Life has just been soooo very hectic lately, and I've been so very exhausted for much of it, that there is no brain power left at the end of the day (or even the middle of it!).

I do have tomorrow off, so I hope to be able to post something (or maybe even a few somethings!) for you!

Meantime, I'm gonna do a half-assed 'half assed post', idea courtesy of Simple Dude at http://www.thesimpledude.com/.. (AWESOME blogger, you should really check him out!)

and here is the topic of the night.. I was chatting (like always) with my man, and we were discussing our 'lists of five'- you know, five celebrities you could sleep with if given the chance. He gave me five guys (umm.. he's completely straight lmao!) which were Elton John, George Michaels, David Bowie, Chad Kroeger and Patrick Stewart. But when I asked him what his list of chick celebrities would be, he just replied it'd be too long of a list! LMAO

Anyway, dear reader.. if you were wondering what my lists would be (trusting you haven't fallen asleep from my rambling, that is!) here they are, in no particular order:

Guy Celebrities:
1.)Brad Pitt
2.)Jason Michael Carrol
3.)Toby Keith
4.)Johnny Depp
5.)Trent Reznor

Chick Celebrities:
1.)Jennifer Aniston
2.)Courtney Cox
3.)Jenna Elfman
4.)Helena Bonham Carter (You know, that chick from Sweeney Todd and Fight Club)
5.)Britney Spears (yeah, when she's taking care of herself and not crazy)

So, dear readers... have you ever thought about what celebrities you'd definitely get with? Care to share one, two (or all?)

So thoughtful!

I just got the most awesome, thoughtful Christmas present! (yes, I said Christmas.. in March.. just smile and nod..)



There's this painting that I've been wanting for MONTHS or maybe a year and more.. and a friend that I was meeting up with tonight gave me a present.. and it was the print! BIG print, not just a little poster replication you can get cheap. Oh my god.. talk about taking my breath away! It's gorgeous! I love LOVE it! And I can't believe he remembered which print I wanted most (It's a series of four, I believe)



Now.. I just have to get a beautiful frame for it. Yay!

God, I love witty comebacks!

OMG..*laughing my ass off* I think I just found my favorite line from the entire Friends series! It's from the episode where Rachel is past her due date & they are trying everything they can think of to induce labor.. She wants to try sex, Ross doesn't.. and her comeback is, "Come on Ross...Just think of me as a ketchup bottle, sometimes you have to bang on the end of it just to get something to come out"...

Are those butterflies in my stomach..

...or big freakin' hawks??
I'm kinda.. okay, REALLY.. nervous about plans I have for tomorrow night. I have no idea what to expect or how it will turn out. A friend that I've been on the outs with for months and I made arrangements to get together and try to talk about things. I'm so worried that I'll say or do something to make things even worse, just by being so nervous and worried about saying and doing the things that I want to. (Just think of it being a combination of being around someone I really adore and the fact that the more I want to do right by them and say exactly what I mean that I apparently lose the ability to fully express myself.)


(like the rambling in this entry.. I think I'm going to lose myself in my book and try to sleep soon.. that'll at least ease my mind for the night!)

Miss Independent-willingly or just for survival?

With some things currently going on in my life, I got to thinking about how my friends say (or just know) that I am so independent and say that I need to let others lend support and a helping hand more often.

But, the other disjointed thought with that is: am I independent because I WANT to be? Or because I've learned that I HAVE to be?

I have yet to find someone that is willing to go the extra mile and be there when I really need something (usually more emotional or mental support than anything tangible). I mean, I have my awesome best friend of 20 years, Jenny.. but I'm talking about in the dating realm. It just seems easier to trudge along counting on only myself to get through whatever, and deal with issues on my own rather than to cross my fingers and hope that the person I am dating will come through when I really need them to.

Brownie points scored! :P

Here's what my awesome boyfriend gave me for Valentine's Day.. so thoughtful! I honestly wasn't expecting anything.. so he totally racked up a few brownie points with them :P (Which doesn't mean much, really.. because he can piss me off or annoy me, and somehow fix it within five minutes--grrr!)

Meh.. Happy Hallmark holiday everyone

Is it wrong to think that I should be being pampered and exchanging loving or at least adoring (Remember, I don't do love anymore..) attention with someone right now?

Instead of cleaning house, making dinner for family and later going to be curling up and watching a few episodes of House, before taking a self-lit candle-lit shower and curling up to episodes of Friends before falling asleep?

Or is this just the effect of working retail, and seeing those love-y commercials on the TV, and hearing about the sweet things friends are doing for each other all building up to make an unrealistic desire in my own mind?

Having a hard time getting over someone..

I wish I could rewind time, and make up with someone that I spent many an awesome time with last year.. but I can't. And it sucks.

My best friend told me that it'd get better, and I'd move past it, and it's his loss. But seriously, she's been my best friend for twenty years, she's a bit biased and is supposed to say stuff like that.

How do others in this situation move on, and forget about someone? I can't see how others do it, pretend that someone else just doesn't exist anymore and have no urge to talk to them or to try to make things better and move on.

Constructive suggestions are totally welcome...

Might seem trivial, but happy news to me!

yay! *insert bubbly happy dance here*

A few months ago, I learned that I had library fines that I never knew about, FROM TEN YEARS AGO! I don't know whether to be disappointed in myself for letting so many years go by without visiting the local library, or whether to happy that I finally started going back?

Anyway...what was the happy dance for, I bet you're wondering? I just got them paid off yesterday! Yay! I am now in the clear to lend up to 75 (OMG, yes.. they allow SEVENTY-FIVE things at a time!) items at my leisure.

So, one less debt I have.. that is awesome :-) And, not five minutes after paying that off, I snagged a copy of a Stephen King novel that I've been trying to read for months.. maybe finally I can finish it!

Greater of two evils?

I can't decide which is worse 'evil' in life: the endings that come abruptly and you have no idea they are gonna happen until after they do (and you're left feeling like you were sideswiped in a hit and run); or the times when things drag on and on, way past when 'goodbye' should have been said, (because neither party wants to throw in the towel even though it's for the best)?

New Year, but same rut :(

I've been thinking lately, and wondering how I could have so screwed up a friendship with someone that I care about deeply so badly that it seems far past being fixable?

It seems the more I try to make amends, the worse it becomes. Every time, I think there's no possible way to make it worse~somehow I do.


We just had such AMAZING chemistry and got along wonderfully from the first time we met.. most people who know me, know I don't allow myself to feel much for others or believe in 'soul mates', but with this person I felt like I had known him for centuries, and through many past lives... And there's only been a few people, friends or otherwise, who I've EVER felt that way about.. and I am still friends with them, after 10-15-20 years. But somehow, in nine months time, I went from actually meeting him on here to being de-friended by him in both real-life and apparently on facebook..


I don't know..maybe I am just a sucky friend.. too selfish, self-centered? Is there no hope for me? It seems to me that he's already moved on from even our friendship, and I'm stuck moping for what I wrecked. I know there are far too many situations I could'a handled better, things I could;a explained better, or even said at all..

He always made me tongue-tied though, made my heart skip a beat.. and I am so very sorry for the horribly way I treated him. I miss his friendship :(

Free-love...without trying for peace

We're a free-love society (generation). I'm not for sure if many people haven't realized it, or just don't want to admit it.

Because, unlike the previous free-love generation, we are doing diddly squat in attempting to better the world, instead, just drinking, drugging, and sexing it up. We aren't bothering to picket, hold bed-ins or marches, but just filling the airwaves, cyber-world and airspace with our complaints-and no possible solutions.

In an age where it should be so very simpler to organize protests, and get information out there, we are instead filling our blogs, Facebook walls, and texts with what we had for breakfast, poetic love claims, and bitching about work.

This is so very depressing for my outlook on the future of our society.

My Happy Ending-Avril Lavigne

Not EXACTLY what I'm feeling, but as close as a song as I can find..

Survival skills?

I can't just be known for possessing certain 'relational' skills(come on, that's a skill not even able to put on a job resume!) or for my laugh.. or my 'cute' noises that hubby and Nick get a kick out of. Well, hubby does anyway.. Nick just smiles and chuckles a little.

I can't cook, (seriously, cannot even make jello!), never feel up to cleaning house, I don't know technology (and good thing too! because then what would I be keeping hubby around for?), and cannot follow driving directions in the slightest.
So when that last one came up most recently, the first thing that came to mind was the beginnings of this entry.

See, what happened was this..

I was following hubby and Jac from where they are staying to the interstate. Of course, after a few minutes, I started forgetting to pay attention, and daydreaming while driving. This caused me to not notice when they turned at a street and I kept going. But.. instead of calling them and finding them again.. I just figured I should find my own way to the interstate, even though I had no idea where I was, or what direction I needed to go.

Never mind though. You know it ended alright, because I am sitting here blogging about it! I managed after a few round about turns to find my way, all by myself.

I rock.

Not here, nope. Not feelin' it

oh crap.. no, no, feelings are not allowed to be felt or even to develop in any capacity. this is no good, and will only lead to hurt and pain, and falling off a cliff (you know, like mentally..not physically.. that'd be freakin' bad..) *knocks my head against the table*

A match of wills, (Wo)man vs. Machine

Okay, dear reader. this is a chick who realized last week how very sedentary her lifestyle has become and decided to challenge my treadmill to a match of wills. Never mind it's just a hunk of plastic, metal and a killer belt-I'm not quite for sure which will be more victorious in the end!

I've started the requisite log, I've kicked my ass.. and just after four times, I don't think I'm gonna keel over by the end of the 20 minutes! Yay! And.. AND I even kicked it up to five miles an hour in today's session, and did just fine. (Does it matter that it was only a minute or so, before I went back to 4 1/2/hour? )


So, this wasn't really a conscious New Year's Resolution.. but I guess with the timing, it counts right? I'm curious as to what other people have decided to make as their declarations for 2011. Have you made any, dear reader? How are you doing with them?

98 Degrees- The Hardest Thing

This is playing pretty regularly in my head.. reminiscent of a situation that is ongoing in my life right now.