Saturday, February 26, 2011

Miss Independent-willingly or just for survival?

With some things currently going on in my life, I got to thinking about how my friends say (or just know) that I am so independent and say that I need to let others lend support and a helping hand more often.

But, the other disjointed thought with that is: am I independent because I WANT to be? Or because I've learned that I HAVE to be?

I have yet to find someone that is willing to go the extra mile and be there when I really need something (usually more emotional or mental support than anything tangible). I mean, I have my awesome best friend of 20 years, Jenny.. but I'm talking about in the dating realm. It just seems easier to trudge along counting on only myself to get through whatever, and deal with issues on my own rather than to cross my fingers and hope that the person I am dating will come through when I really need them to.

Saturday, February 19, 2011

Brownie points scored! :P

Here's what my awesome boyfriend gave me for Valentine's Day.. so thoughtful! I honestly wasn't expecting anything.. so he totally racked up a few brownie points with them :P (Which doesn't mean much, really.. because he can piss me off or annoy me, and somehow fix it within five minutes--grrr!)

Monday, February 14, 2011

Meh.. Happy Hallmark holiday everyone

Is it wrong to think that I should be being pampered and exchanging loving or at least adoring (Remember, I don't do love anymore..) attention with someone right now?

Instead of cleaning house, making dinner for family and later going to be curling up and watching a few episodes of House, before taking a self-lit candle-lit shower and curling up to episodes of Friends before falling asleep?

Or is this just the effect of working retail, and seeing those love-y commercials on the TV, and hearing about the sweet things friends are doing for each other all building up to make an unrealistic desire in my own mind?

Saturday, February 12, 2011

Having a hard time getting over someone..

I wish I could rewind time, and make up with someone that I spent many an awesome time with last year.. but I can't. And it sucks.

My best friend told me that it'd get better, and I'd move past it, and it's his loss. But seriously, she's been my best friend for twenty years, she's a bit biased and is supposed to say stuff like that.

How do others in this situation move on, and forget about someone? I can't see how others do it, pretend that someone else just doesn't exist anymore and have no urge to talk to them or to try to make things better and move on.

Constructive suggestions are totally welcome...

Tuesday, February 8, 2011

Might seem trivial, but happy news to me!

yay! *insert bubbly happy dance here*

A few months ago, I learned that I had library fines that I never knew about, FROM TEN YEARS AGO! I don't know whether to be disappointed in myself for letting so many years go by without visiting the local library, or whether to happy that I finally started going back?

Anyway...what was the happy dance for, I bet you're wondering? I just got them paid off yesterday! Yay! I am now in the clear to lend up to 75 (OMG, yes.. they allow SEVENTY-FIVE things at a time!) items at my leisure.

So, one less debt I have.. that is awesome :-) And, not five minutes after paying that off, I snagged a copy of a Stephen King novel that I've been trying to read for months.. maybe finally I can finish it!

Wednesday, February 2, 2011

Greater of two evils?

I can't decide which is worse 'evil' in life: the endings that come abruptly and you have no idea they are gonna happen until after they do (and you're left feeling like you were sideswiped in a hit and run); or the times when things drag on and on, way past when 'goodbye' should have been said, (because neither party wants to throw in the towel even though it's for the best)?