Saturday, April 30, 2011

Photo Challenge: Day Thirteen

Day Thirteen: A picture of something you want to do before you're thirty.. Road trip with friends with no predetermined destination!

Friday, April 29, 2011

Photo Challenge: Day Twelve

A picture of your favorite band or artist;

This entry is late, because I couldn't decide on just ONE favorite band over all, let alone out of my favorite local bands! So, Metallica was it for mainstream, and here's one of my favorite local bands.. you should really check out Insanguine ;-)

Thursday, April 28, 2011

Like Sheets in The Wind

I was just hit with a random thing that caught me totally off guard. (hence, random.)

I just started a book from my library pile, (which is on my 30/30 list, but that's another entry, another day.) This one is Animal Farm by George Orwell, and was on my (and probably everyone else's,) middle school reading list.

The first page was a summary of his life. One page. Nothing more, nothing less. And the thing that struck me is, how a life could be summarized in just a single sheet of paper, from birth to death. Someday that might be all that survives to tell of the person that lived, breathed and occupied a place on this planet for half a decade. How very sad.

And worse, what about the people who never warrant the opportunity for any kind of written history of their presence? All those stories, events, lessons learned.. scattered to the wind to be forgotten about? Although, how can you forget something that was never tangible?

The Pivotal Point Between 'Like' and 'Love'

Okay. I've been thinking about relationships, and love. The latter, as you may recall, I am not in a believing state of right now.

More specifically, I've been wondering about what makes a person go from 'liking' someone to 'loving' them? I know it's not a conscious decision or, dear lord, shouldn't be, but what mentally 'clicks' and makes the leap?

Like, my ex-fiance. Nope, never did love him. I think the whole, 'Dating a month, he gives me a promise three months he tries giving me an engagement ring (which I managed to refuse for at least a year..), going psychotic and stalking me when I tried breaking it off, yeah that didn't lend well to the cause.

Or the guy I dated before that, which was the complete opposite for me. I had just started working at Wal-Mart. He was an unloader, who I kinda flirted with back and forth with for a little while. Then, I remember it pretty clearly, (scary how so, really,). I was looking at the schedule board after a break, and he came up to me and said, "You know, I've not done this before, but would you like to have dinner this weekend?"

Knowing him since, I totally call b.s. on this one (not doing it before), but I didn't know any better then! Anyway..

A couple months later, we were dating. We went to break together. After break, when we were going in two different directions to work, I wasn't thinking about anything consciously, when I said, "Love you, later!"

And we BOTH stopped in our tracks. Me, because apparently something went haywire in my brain and him, because well, that's obvious. He asked, "What did you just say?"

"Nothing. Nothing at all. I should go to work now.." I tried to just move on from that.. but he wouldn't let me for a few minutes.. evil, evil bastard had too much fun with it. Fast forward a bit of dating history, and..

Anyway, all's well that ends well, I suppose. We're friends now, and it's kind of scary he's evolved into a married family guy.. totally at odds with what I knew him as in the beginning!

Now, back from memory lane to the topic at hand. How does it work for you? Do you sit down and think about things? Do you just follow your heart and exclude your brain?

Are you like me, and don't let yourself believe in it? Or are you the total opposite, and fall right away?

I'm so very curious, and people fascinate me. I'd love your input, dear friends!

Wednesday, April 27, 2011

Photo Challenge: Day Eleven

A picture of something you love.. Dear readers, meet my adorable, little fluff ball Cloud!

Tuesday, April 26, 2011

Photo Challenge: Day Ten

Day Ten: A picture of something you hate

(Story will come sometime by the end of Wednesday, short on time right now :-) )

April 28th, 2011
11:06 a.m.

My lovely readers, please forgive me for not meeting my own deadline on giving the story as to why I can't STAND this disgusting fruit. It actually would've been even later before you got the lowdown, but a lovely friend sent me a cute message on Facebook about it, so it here it goes:

It was the the late '80's, and I was probably five-ish. My mom worked at the U of I, so before school I went to a babysitter down the hall. Her name was Bernice and she wasn't really all that fun that I can remember. What I do remember is she would make me a bowl of cereal for breakfast, and would always chop up a LOT of bananas for it.

I either didn't have much penchant for them already, or I got banana overload, but this quickly fell into my 'no way, not happening' list. You know, or whatever little kids call it.

I don't know if many parents/caregivers do it anymore, but this was still the age of, "Eat everything on your plate, or you're not getting up from the table." Apparently I was a bit crafty and/or she was a bit slow in catching on, for after awhile, I started dumping my bowl of yucky cereal and mushy bananas into the cookie jar in the middle of the kitchen table while she was watching TV in the living room.

And to this day, I can't even stand the smell of the disgusting things. Bleeechhhhh!

Monday, April 25, 2011

Photo Challenge: Day Nine

A picture of the person you do the most ****** up things with

I do believe Jen could qualify for or be somehow related to many of the entries that will compose this challenge! <3 you lady!

Sunday, April 24, 2011

Teardrops On My Guitar-Taylor Swift

"...She better hold him tight/Give him all her love/Look in those beautiful eyes/And know she's lucky 'cause

He's the reason for the teardrops on my guitar/The only thing that keeps me wishing on a wishing star/He's the song in the car I keep singing/Don't know why I do..."

Photo Challenge: Day Eight

A picture of the person who has gotten you through the most....

There's a small handful of people I could put, but hubby's been there for me for a great deal of things in just the year that we've known each other--and I love the pic lol

Saturday, April 23, 2011

Photo Challenge: Day Seven

A picture of your most treasured item

I have a few, but this ranks high on the list. It's the only actual heirloom I have from my grandmother who passed away when I was ten.

Friday, April 22, 2011

Photo Challenge: Day Six

A picture of a person you'd love to trade places with for a day

Okay, so yet another entry where I have two answers. The first one is a real life person, a great friend of mine, Meredith. She's been so many places, making such a great place for herself in life and just is a totally awesome and wonderful person.

and the other is Dharma from 'Dharma and Greg'. I've known people like her, and I just would love to be able to live that carefree and stuff. And plus, she is tres' adorable!

Thursday, April 21, 2011

Photo Challenge: Day Five

A picture of your favorite memory


Hands down, one of my top favorite memories was when Josh and I FINALLY got to have a reunion last summer after far too long of not seeing each other!

Wednesday, April 20, 2011

Photo Challenge: Day Four

A picture of your favorite night


ooohh... I would have to say last August when Jen and I celebrated our birthdays at Studio 13 and Jaclynn and hubby came as well :-)

Even the voices in my head think I'm crazy!

This was actual inner dialogue I caught myself having earlier today right after I got to work:


"My OCD is making me crazy!"

"No, my OCD is WHY I'm crazy."

"Actually... talking to myself about my OCD and being crazy is what would classify myself as crazy."


Isn't that just 'crazy'..? Does anyone else think in complete sentences, much like J.D. on Scrubs? Or is it just me?

Losing my grip...

So, yeah. I'm totally losing it. And not even in the fun way, where I get to see pink unicorns and blue elephants chasing a monkey across a rainbow. Although, that would be slightly interesting, and would score me a white coat and a enjoyable bouncy room.

No, no.. this is quite the boring and anticlimactic way. Like, where every dish has to be put 'just right' into the dishwasher. And I can't have piles of ANYTHING anywhere to deal with later. And I have to 'count' my way out of the house every morning, alphabeticalize everything with a title, color coordinate everything in my closet.. etc, etc.

Yes, it's the grand development of OCD. I think people believe I am joking when I say I have it, or think I am exaggerating about things I honestly believe I have to do. Like the walking through every room in the house, making sure everything is in it's place and there's nothing hot left on and nothing small left where it could possibly get into puppy's reach. I just realized that's actually my mantra as I do my walk through before I leave everyday~ "Nothing hot, nothing small...nothing hot, nothing small..."

Which got me thinking. Looking back, (hindsight is twenty-twenty, right?), I can see the progression. Just maybe five, six, maybe seven years ago, I remember just having to check to make sure the stovetop was off and that was that. I never was bothered by a (very) messy living quarters, piles of stuff everywhere, and so on. But, just tonight, I was eating a plate of spaghetti while I was watching Scrubs. And I managed to knock the plate onto the floor and dump my food. I think most people would just clean up the spaghetti and that would be done. No, I cleaned up the spaghetti, and then noticed I had accumulated stuff on my dresser. I straightened that up and then proceeded to clean the entire room until everything was in it's precise, designated position. And then, when I took my dishes to the kitchen, started cleaning the counters until I forced myself to say, 'No, it's one o'clock in the morning. This can wait until tomorrow.'

And, it's become a rapid progression as of late. Earlier this year, I had had enough of my anxiety attacks, and went to the doctor. She prescribed something for them and said it would also help with my OCD symptoms as well,

Boy, was she ever wrong. My anxiety behaviors grew ten times worse, my trichotillomania came back active full force, and my OCD has skyrocketed.

I did stop the medicine just about a month in. But it's not making anything go back to 'normal'. Which scares me.

If I've gotten this, 'precise' for lack of a better word by the time I'm in my mid-twenties... what could it possibly be like for me when I'm thirty? Heck with that, what about in a year?

Dear readers, do any of you deal with this? Do you have any decent suggestions for me? Do you think I'm losing it? Any constructive criticism you have, I'll gladly listen...

Now, I'm going to go to bed before I think of something else that I HAVE to check or clean.. hope you all are having a good morning/day/night... which ever applies as you are reading this.

Tuesday, April 19, 2011

Photo Challenge: Day Three

A picture of the cast from your favorite show...

I can't decide between two of my favorite shows for my ultimate favorite, so here's both!

Monday, April 18, 2011

Photo Challenge: Day Two

A picture of you and the person you have been closest with the longest..

That would be Jen. We've stayed friends, through thick and thin, since the 3rd grade. Above is one the oldest pics that I still have of us, below is the newest one. :-)

Sunday, April 17, 2011

Photo Challenge: Day One

A picture of yourself with ten (lesser known) facts:

(I had the urge to use the oldest (non-school) pic I had :P

1.) I LOVE horror movies, but I can't bring myself to watch them alone!

2.) Riding on that fact, I first saw IT (by myself) when I was six or, even to this day, every time I walk by a storm drain I half expect to see balloons in it..

3.) I have a REALLY large personal bubble, and have come close to decking quite a few people at work for coming up behind me without any warning. (Though, how satisfying that would be to do that to some of them!)

4.) I adore who I date, and love my friends. (It may usually be the other way around for most people, but friends will typically be around a lot longer, so less heart breaking going on this way.)

5.) I can't cook worth a darn. Seriously. I even mess up Jello!

6.) I'd rather take a spontaneous Burger King/Bowling date over a fancy dinner and movie.

7.) If you think any of my behaviors could be called eccentric, annoying or just weird, perhaps they are linked to my OCD and anxiety attacks?

8.) I am a huge romantic.

9.) I work at the same place I did after high school. Eight and a half years later, I believe they have my soul.

10.) I am a music junkie. I can not get enough of it. Records, CDS, cassette, iTunes.. seriously. It's one of the only things that can be universally shared, understood and enjoyed by everyone.

30 day photo challenge

Okay, I just woke up this morning thinking that I'm totally going to do this.

I don't know why today of all days, I hadn't read about it or seen in being done for awhile. My brain just decided while I was passed out from exhaustion that I need to do it. And so, here I go.. (Each entry for it will be titled in such a way that you dear reader, will be able to tell 'regular' entries from them; Since I don't know if there's a way to automatically separate them.)

I'm also doing this on Facebook, like it's intended, but here I may extend on my answers or give more personal ones. I'm not for sure yet.

In any case, I hope you enjoy!

Wednesday, April 13, 2011

Exercise Regimes

Hey everyone.. I just wanted to ask around about what exercise routines everyone is engaged in, and what works for you.

I never had to 'actually' exercise before, I used to be able to eat and eat, and burn every single calorie off. Uh, yeah..not anymore. Truth be told, I've gained like 15 pounds in the last year, and even though most of you will be like,'You're tiny, you don't need to lose anything...." shut up! (In the nicest way possible, of course!)

My favorite jeans won't even get halfway on anymore, so there's where I draw the line!

There's no way I'm getting back into my bikini again, unless I lose this tummy... so what suggestions do you all have for me.. and be a LITTLE serious please :P (I love you guys, and your jokester ways.. but sometimes I need real input too ;-) )

Also, I can't do heavy weights, because of my back problems, so that sort of thing is out...

Thank you guys so much :-)

Friday, April 8, 2011

The lost has been found!


After two days, my lost car keys have made their way back to my possession! Yay! *insert happy dance here*

I asked one of my friends, who is a CSM, if she could look in the front office to see if they were turned in yet. And a little while later, she came to my counter with them in her hand! The kicker? They were put in the 'regular' lost and found, instead of the office where keys and other 'personal' stuff goes. So they could have been there pretty much all along and our seperation could have been much shorter. Grrrr!

But, all's well that ends well, I suppose! They are mine again! And even better, I have Nick's key back again. He JUST gave it to me a couple weeks ago, and I was feeling horrible that I had lost it. This is the first time that I've actually lost them, usually I find myself *almost* losing them but realizing it before it actually happens.

So, yeah. *happy dancing still* Awesome! And now, I must lay down and try to crash so I can be at work in eight hours..

Thursday, April 7, 2011

30/30 List

Okay, so I've been reading a lot on this 'new' idea of having a bucket list of sorts for things that you would like to accomplish before you turn thirty. And since my way of just drifting along in life doesn't seem to be accomplishing things well enough, I thought I'd give myself the task of creating and seeing what I can motivate myself to doing. So here is what I came up with:

1.) Learn Spanish

2.) Take and successfully complete the Administrative Assistant program from Stratford Career Institute

3.) Using that experience, getting out of Wally-World for once and all. Being there eight years, and it being the job I got right out of high school does seem like of sad-like.

4.) Attend three 'mainstream' concerts

5.) See the Titanic exhibit. (Which is currently here in Iowa this year, so this is the year!)

6.) Learn guitar

7.) Write (and complete) my book

8.) Go whitewater rafting

9.) Take a road trip with a couple of friends

10.) Attend my class reunion (2012)

11.) Lose my tummy and get nice abs and toned all around (and keep it that way)

12.)Read 50 books a year. (I'm not for sure the best way for keeping a record on this..)

13.) Read all the books on the 'banned' list

14.) Go skiing

15.) Complete my Stephen King collection

16.) Make all of my family photos digital

17.) Go camping at least three times a summer-in a tent for at least a full weekend.

18.) Learn how to waterski

19.) Fly on an airplane

20.) Visit another country. (Cananda and Mexico counts)

21.) Put pretty flooring in the lower level of my house (instead of this hard and ugly concrete~long story!)

22.) Write a biography.

23.) Make a complete family tree

24.) Learn French

25.) Visit the Grand Canyon

26.) Take a trip and visit both oceans (two separate trips, that is.)

27.) Pay off my student loans!!

28.) Figure out how to accept and like myself for who I am, and not worry about what other people think or judge.

29.) Learn how to salsa, tango and ballroom dance

30.) Go to Chicago and visit the museums yearly.

I'd lose my head if it wasn't attached, I swear!

okay. so I'm an idiot. Somehow, in the last three hours of work, I lost my car keys. Not only that, but my cell phone died right at the end of my shift. So I got to walk home and then get a ride back to my car to bring it home with my spare keys. Idiot, that's what I am.

Blogging: Acceptable tell-alls?

It occurred to me earlier today that blogging is really a modern and public way for anyone to instantly publish a tell-all book, the kind of publication that can cause quite the stir in Hollywood and other social circles.

My questions of you, dear readers, are these:

*even if you carefully change names to 'protect the innocent' or not so innocent, depending on the experiences, are there lines you should be careful not to cross?

*What if, for you, writing about the experiences is like a form of purging, a confession that you really need to get out of your system so you can gain closure and move on?

*Does it matter if what you need to get out in the open involves people that are no longer in your life? Does it matter what you write then?

I'd greatly appreciate any input you have to give, this involves personal things for me, things I need to expel and gain closure on.. I just want to find the 'right' or at least best way of doing so. And that's where I turn to you, dear reader. Any opinions and ideas you have would be awesome!