I'm sorry if this entry is a bit garbled, dear reader.. that's just what the inside of my brain is like right now, and has been increasingly so over the last few weeks...
Why is it that I have such a hard time sticking up for what I want, for what I desire? I'd rather have others that I care about a lot have what they want, even if it was the same thing that I wanted & we both cannot have it. Why can't I be one of those people that just greedily take what I want, and not worry about those around me? That's what a lot of people around me do, sometimes to me & the rest of the time I just witness the behavior.
I swear, right now my brain feels like it's inside a barrel racing down a hillside.. all the thoughts running together & flying around so quickly that I cannot react to any of them individually, or even know fully what it is about before it's out of my reach and back into space again.
Does that sound crazy? Perhaps. But, it's how it feels, and it's my little writing & exploring place on the world wide web.. so I think it's all good.
Hm. Should I start with a good event? Or a bad one?
Well, I guess I should start with the good one.. that comes first chronologically, and thus might make more sense. You might guess, if you've talked to me the last few days, what the good time involved.. and that was the show I went to last night at The Mill in Downtown Iowa City--
I know all but one member of Snow Demon, and try to go to at least one of their shows a month. Unfortunately, my ex is friends with them as well, and he's at all their shows also. That's proved to be a disasturous social situation in the past, although not so much last night... just later, which I'll get into later...
Anyway. I went down there with a co-worker of mine- not really someone I'd consider a full-fledged friend, but with our history I just keep the saying in mind, 'Keep your friends close, and your enemies closer.' The first band was already playing- they actually started BEFORE 'official' show time, not a half hour later like most shows downtown. SuperChief was really good.. a southern biker meets heavy metal equals frickin' awesome!
Right after the last song finished, I heard to my left.. 'Well, hello there Miss Seana!' It was J! I had been talking to him online for awhile, and he's also friends with one of the guys from Snow Demon, and many other downtown indie regulars. I had texted him earlier that night to ask if he was going to the show, because I'd love for us to finally hang out together. And he showed.. The three of us went outside to regain some of our hearing back before Droids Attack took to the stage, and were in good conversation when my ex came up and neatly inserted himself in our conversation. Us ladies waited a few minutes and excused ourselves to the bathroom, and met up again with them right before the music started. My ex disappeared back to his side of the audience, and the music started. I had noticed a chick in a booth to the side of the band, I thought she looked a lot like someone I had met at Studio a few months ago, (Stacy,) but I wasn't for sure.
The first half of the set SUCKED.. Elizabeth and I even went outside for a few minutes to get some fresh air, and then came back in and sat down in a booth.. turns out it was her! So, a mini-reunion was had.. and it made the night that much better.
Right after this, the main guitarist of Droids Attack snapped a string on his guitar. And, magically, after he switched guitars, they rocked the house! Weird, but definitely not a bad thing!
Snow Demon was the third band, and I've gotta say.. I wasn't expecting much, or that I'd really like the changes that have been made (new guitarist, no more covers), but the opposite was true. Brad got a rockin' guitar solo in one of the new songs, and all in all, it was a great performance! A great night really, J & I really hit it off, had fun with Stacy & Liz.. the only negative was that my ex kept coming by intermittedly through the evening to talk & what-not. But.. it's all good..