I may sound a bit disjointed this go round, I'm sorry. I know what I want to write about, I have the thoughts in mind.. but for some reason they're not wanting to meld seamlessly like they usually do. But hopefully the gist of it comes out...
So, I've pretty much weened myself off of Facebook, looking through my entries, it seems to be over a month since I first clicked the 'Deactivate Account' button. And for the most part, I haven't missed it. I have checked back a few times, for maybe two minutes a time-just to see if anything has changed, or if there was big developments that I've missed since I've gotten out of the loop.
And tonight was finally an occurrence of major developments going unknown by me. You see, there's this person that I met/started talking to in earnest a couple months ago. I wanted to get to know them better, maybe become close, see where the friendship might go (or fizzle). They were just getting through a breakup, from someone I had known.
They might not have had no clue what was going through my thoughts. Heck, even I didn't know until recently. But, either way it's where the thing of my shyness and 'slow to warm up' personality comes into play. See, ever since I was little, school would start at the end of August and it would take me months to warm up to the other kids. By the time I was finally forging friendships, summer break would hit and then, if they didn't live near me, I would basically have to start all over the next school year.
Anyway, back to the 'major' development. This person and I were talking A LOT, constant texting every day for awhile. Then, all of a sudden, it seemed to have just dropped off. Bouts of sickness, work, busy schedules on both our ends seemed to be the culprit. (And what was 'blamed' as the cause.) But, I randomly signed on tonight to see in my news feed that they and their ex have reunited back into a relationship. And they had mentioned that they had met with them a few times recently. Which, connecting in my mind with a previous blog discussion about people seeming to only want to use me to fill the void until they work things out with whomever, seems to make the absence of texts I'm getting make sense.
I can recall several instances where it seemed as though I was truly being used as a 'seat filler' until the person they wanted in that particular spot of their lives came back. And this seems to fit the mold of those times.
What do you guys think? First, can you make sense of what my poor brain is trying to say? Second, do you ever experience things like this? How did you proceed with the acknowledgement when you realized what was going on- did you confront or just shrug your shoulders, thinking 'oh well, their loss.'?