The way my life has been going lately, if I didn't have Dustin & Josh as two of the most awesome guy friends the world has ever known, I would think that the ENTIRE male species was a foreign and odd alien life form.
And I would've become a nun way before now!
I just want one week (at the very bare minimum), where I don't have drama or crazy exes intruding in on my life! It seems lately, that at least one of them are coming out of the shadows to torment me EVERY single day!
Let's delve into my taxing and rather stressful week, shall we? Perhaps I will feel better, and hopefully I don't get on your nerves with things that may seem trivial or annoying to you, dear reader.. if so, feel free to zoom right past this entry.
Let's start with Sunday.. that's the day already outlined in a previous entry, where Derek just flabbergasted me with his closemindedness & arrogant jack-assedness.
Monday, more of the same of THAT.. plus, I found out that my stalker ex, Clint, has somehow convinced the woman he's been dating for about 6 years that they should get married. You would think that would be good news for me, and not be the cause of any legitimate stress on my part. This would be true, and probably should be, except for the fact that I've been friends with her just as long as I've known him. Also, he's the same guy professing his 'undying love' for me.. over and over again for the past decade. He's also drove down from Waterloo (70+ miles)just last week to try to find me at work to talk to me about 'us' and to try to convince me to give it another shot (yeah right!)..
I wouldn't give this another thought, but I'm concerned for her wellbieng... I told her I support her, but I can't back her decision to go through with this. She knows I'll be there for her, but other than that I'm trying to put it it out of my mind where it belongs..
That brings us to yesterday... nothing major happened, just more of the same from Derek. And a guy that I (very) briefly dated earlier this year came in to say hi. Even though he was quite implicit that he didn't want to be friends or talk at all if we were not going to pursue dating one another, he has been coming in irregularly to chat and whatnot. Though, I'm not interested in the slightest & shove him out of the department as quickly and as nicely as I can. Really, nothing major.. which is good, because today had enough to mess with me mentally for both days.
My morning was quite wonderful, and so was my day at work until about mid-afternoon. That was when one of the few 'old timer' associates came into my department and dropped off some not-so-lovely news for me. She's a very no-nonsense, serious person who works in GM receiving- so I was surprised to see her in my department. I asked her what she was looking for, and she said a necklace. But she didn't really look at anything, and while she was busy pretending as she was, she piped up with, "I saw your old Beau the other day..".
I thought she was talking about my most recent ex, who caused a major turbulent time in my life earlier this year, the one that I broke up with last December. I asked her if that was who she was talking about, and she said, "Nope. Josh's brother, Jay."
As a matter of fact, she was talking about my crazy ex-fiance'. The one, if you remember from my dating history entry, was very controlling & wouldn't take no for an answer for ANYTHING. The one who I tried breaking up with multiple times, and he would sit on the hill outside my house, watching me come & go.. the one that followed me to Nebraska, etc..
He apparently was in the store on Monday, and looks a lot worse for the wear. (Which, I don't know if that says much, because he never was much for looking at.) She seemed pretty concerned in her off-hand, unspoken, stern way & the impression I got was that he was trying to find out if I was still around without coming out and asking. I don't know if he's still in town, or if he'll be in again. I haven't seen him in many years, since he moved to Texas & started seeing a psychiatrist. (Which he always blamed me for.. but he was messed up way before I came along.)
I would've normally just taken the news, swished it around in my brain & passed it on through, and would've loved for that to happen. Unfortunately for reasons beyound my understanding, instead of passing it through, my brain swished it around & struck alight remenants of unpleasant thoughts. Thoughts related to experiences & what-not from my past. Which tried to strike an anxiety attack... didn't make for a very pleasant evening at work for me. (The sane part of my brain, however, knows that the chance is very, very slim that he's actually going to look for me at work or even cares in the slightest.)
That, however, brings me full circle to my appreciation for my wonderful best friend! He didn't know what had struck such a bad chord with me, but he tried making me laugh via text messages to distract me- and he was successful to some degree.
Which is good, because I don't think I'd look good in a nun's habit..!
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